A few quick things before we get into the NFL portion of this post.
-I am officially through the first three seasons of “How I Met Your Mother” and with the second half of season four premiering on Monday, the timing couldn’t be better. Say what you will, but anytime someone tells you that you can’t watch 66 episodes of a given show in a shade less than five days while still working 8-10 hours each day, please direct that person to me. Now I just need to hit Hulu.com for the first ten episodes of season four that aired this past fall and I will be all caught up. Since I took tomorrow off to watch the BCS title game, I’m probably going to pound them out sometime in the afternoon. It’s gonna be legendary.
-Speaking of college football, I also took this past Monday night off to watch my Ohio State Buckeyes play in the Fiesta Bowl with Eric, B-Weezy, and Cristin. You know, it’s funny, even though they lost when Texas scored with 16 seconds remaining, I wasn’t totally heartbroken. Sure, it sucks seeing your team lose, but since they put up such a fight when no one thought they would be within 20 points, I guess it was somewhat of a moral victory. I mean hell, the Bucks were 16 seconds away from a win despite the fact that they have an 18 year old playing quarterback and their star running back rode the pine in the second half due to injury. It could have been worse, Eric could have fallen asleep ten minutes into the game and left before halftime. Oh wait, that happened. Happy for you friend.
-Seeing that game reminded me why I hate watching sports on Fox. Wait, is there a stronger word than hate? If there is, omit the word “hate” from my previous statement and enter that word. To give you an idea of what I was working with, I made a few mental notes throughout the broadcast. Let’s run the numbers:
- Number of plays we missed at least half of due to poor camera work: 2 – One when the camera was zoomed in on Terelle Pryor standing in the backfield and Beanie Wells took a direct snap, and the other when Colt McCoy threw a playaction pass but the camera stayed on the running back for pretty much the whole play. I know, cameraman, football is hard!
- Number of times we had a camera pan and/or closeup of the Texas school band: 309 – This is easily a conservative guess. If I ran the tape back and counted, I wouldn’t be surprised if the number was closer to 400.
- Number of times we had a closeup of Colt McCoy’s parents: 16 – And each time they showed about half of the smoking hot blonde standing next to them. Either they didn’t say who that girl was or I missed it. Either way, disappointing.
- Number of times we endured a five second close up of a jug of Gatorade on the Texas sideline: 4 – This one is dead serious. Each time, I sat there in disbelief saying, “Why are they showing this? Why are they showing this? Why are they showing this? Why are they showing this?”
Bottom line: Fox is crap. Wait, that’s not enough. Fox is worse than crap. If crap could eat stuff, and then crap it out, that is what Fox would be. Fox is the crap that crap would crap out if crap could crap. Got it? Good. Let’s move on.
So last week’s football picks started out kind of rocky for me. I went 0-2 in Saturday’s games, but bounced back and went 2-0 in Sunday’s games. In my defense, if Indy had played San Diego ten times between last week and now, I am almost certain that Indy would win nine of those games. Just so happens that the Chargers brought the goods when they needed to. Whatever, that’s life. Onto the picks for this week’s divisional playoffs.
Baltimore (+3) over Tennessee
Okay, so I know this goes against every rule in the book. You are never supposed to bet against your own team. Ever. Either bet with them, or just stay away. I mean, this is the path Pete Rose took and look how it turned out for him. Wait, bad example. In any case, I gotta play this one the way I see it, all personal feelings aside. Baltimore is statistically better than Tennessee in every major offensive and defensive category. Tennessee’s starting center is questionable to play, as are Kyle Vanden Bosch and Albert Haynesworth, two of the biggest keys to their defense. Meanwhile, Kerry Collins has looked less and less impressive over the past few weeks and one has to wonder if he’s got anything left in that 36-year old tank of his. After watching Ed Reed torture Chad Pennington last week, I can’t help but picture a similar situation playing out in Tennessee on Saturday. The only possible glimmer of hope I held onto was the fact that a rookie quarterback on the road in the playoffs is usually not a safe bet … Until I realized that Joe Flacco’s passer rating is almost 25 points higher in road games than home games this season and Baltimore is 5-3 when they are on the visitor’s side of the field. I hope karma doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass on this one, but I’m sorry, it’s just how I feel about the game. When it comes down to it, I have to take the Bill Simmons method to picking a tough game. If my life depended on picking the winner of this game, who would I pick? My pick: Baltimore 21 – Tennessee 9
Carolina (-10) over Arizona
Sometimes things look better on paper than they actually are. Depending on how you look at things, this could be one of those situations. On paper, if I had no prior knowledge of these two teams, I would possibly take the Cardinals. They have a better offense (in a pure numbers sense alone), and the overall defensive numbers for each time are almost identical. Lucky for me, I’m not just hearing about these two teams today. Lucky for me I know that Arizona hasn’t beaten Carolina since my freshman year of college (October of 2002 to be exact). Lucky for me I know that Arizona is probably only in the playoffs because their division was God-awful this year. Lucky for me I know that the Cards went 3-5 on the road this season while the Panthers haven’t lost at home yet. In all honesty, how often do you see a double-digit favorite in the second round of the playoffs? I haven’t been paying attention to spreads for very long, but I can imagine it doesn’t happen that often. My pick: Carolina 34 – Arizona 20
Pittsburgh (-4) over San Diego
Like I said earlier, it is my estimation that the Chargers got away with one last week against Indy. Will such an event occur again in Pittsburgh? Meh, doubt it. The Steelers’ defense seems like it will be too much for Darren Sproles, who made the Indy defense his bitch last Saturday. The Chargers have barely had to play in cold weather yet this season other than Kansas City a few weeks ago and Buffalo back in October. It’s going to be cold and windy in Pittsburgh. If the Chargers have to depend on their run game against one of the best run defenses in the league, it could make for a long afternoon. While I give props to Sproles, this isn’t Indianapolis’ run defense. They are going to beat up on an already ailing LaDanian Tomlinson and they will probably eat 5’6″ Sproles for an afternoon snack. I’m sorry San Diego fans, but I submit that your season is coming to an end. Now Philip Rivers can go back to screaming at old people or slapping ice cream cones out of kids’ hands, or whatever he does in the offseason. My pick: Pittsburgh 28 – San Diego 13
New York (-4) over Philadelphia
I was not very impressed with Philly’s win last week over the Vikings. I’ll go so far as to say that the Vikes had more than one opportunity to win that game, but they squandered it. If Philly plays like that against the Giants it could be over in a hurry. On the plus side for the Eagles, their defense looked good for most of the game last week, and their blitz schemes kept Adrian Peterson under 100 yards, which is a feat in itself. But the New York Giants are not the Minnesota Vikings. They actually have a coach who knows the difference between a sneeze and a wet fart. They have a quarterback that is less likely to crumble like a house of cards in the fourth quarter. And they have actually played against teams who are good this season. However, the more I sit here, the more I think Philly has a chance to pull this one off. I can’t explain it and I don’t know why, but something is telling me that the Eagles are going to win this game. Wait … nope, nevermind. It was just gas. My pick: New York 20 – Philadelphia 10
Well, as depressing as it is, football is really all I’ve got to talk about today. Don’t worry, a few more weeks and I’ll be able to think about other stuff, but for right now, my mind is definitely not multi-tasking. Case in point: Yesterday I spent like three hours thinking of which I would rather endure for a day – having wet socks and shoes, or having water stuck in both my ears.
I know which one I picked, now I wanna know which you would pick. Let’s make it sorta interesting and say that you would have to endure your chosen torture from the moment you wake up in the morning until the moment you to go bed at night. Would you rather spend your entire day walking around in wet shoes and socks or spend it with water stuck so far in your ears that no matter how hard you slap the side of your head it won’t come out? Let the debate begin.
One love,
10
The Power of 10 