Who Says?

Tuesday marks the release of John Mayer’s latest album, Battle Studies. Before you start calling me a latent homosexual sissy-pants for liking, nay, LOVING John Mayer, perhaps I can sway you not to with two words … please don’t.  He’s come a long way from how you probably remember him on MTV back in 2001, and his music is nothing like it used to be.  Much more blues-inspired, and a lot less douchey-frat-boyish.

Anyway, the first single off of that album is entitled “Who Says” and its words beckon us to let people be who they are.  In it, he asks:

Who says I can’t be free
From all of the things that I used to be
Rewrite my history
Who says I can’t be free?

I’ve listened to the song a couple, thirteen, fourteen times, and it got me thinking.  Who says I can’t do what I want?  I mean, if John Mayer is gonna put it out there, I’m gonna run with it.  So, even though mine aren’t going to be all rhyming and fancy and stuff, I’ve compiled a list of things that I’d like to be pardoned from the record when you decide whether or not I’m a loser.

-Who says I can’t eat Cocoa Puffs for all three meals in a day on a Sunday when I don’t feel like cooking?  I mean, I love those damn things, and if I ever found myself on a deserted island with nothing but a bowl, a spoon, and an endless supply of milk and Cocoa Puffs, then I think I’d be just fine.  Matter of fact, I’d quite prefer it that way.

-Who says I can’t spend a Saturday night watching HGTV with my fiance’s parents?  If Jess is out of town, and I don’t feel like doing anything, then bring on the sweatpants, get me a comfy chair, and let’s plow through some shows about houses and shit.

-Who says I can’t buy a log of Nestle chocolate chip cookie dough with absolutely no aspirations of EVER portioning it out and actually baking cookies?  So what if I want to put it in a bowl and eat it raw with a spoon.  That’s my cross to bear.  Lay off me, I’m starving.

-Who says I can’t secretly listen to Katy Perry songs at work when no one else is around?  If a guy wants to YouTube “Hot N Cold” like sixteen straight times, then let him be.  And while we’re at it, I’m probably gonna watch the “Single Ladies” video by Beyonce a handful of times too.

-Who says I can’t sleep with a stuffed penguin?  Yeah, I’m 26, but we’re a good match, and I’m not gonna let what anyone thinks ruin a potentially good night’s sleep.  I’ve had him for almost five years now, and he is easily worth his weight in gold.

–Who says I can’t buy a box of Uncrustables peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plow through two or three of them on the car ride home?  Those things are delicious, and are so addicting, I’m beginning to wonder if there are trace amounts of heroine in them.  Clayton, you know what I’m talking about on this one, back me up.

UncrustablesYou’re telling me you couldn’t eat half a dozen of those right now?

–Who says I can’t talk to myself even though I don’t live alone anymore?  Sure, I run the risk of getting caught much more easily than before, but old habits just don’t die that easy.  So let’s just be clear about this one; I’m going to continue to narrate my Nintendo Wii Tennis matches when I think no one else is home, and I will call the other team a couple of fart-smelling hookers in the hopes that no one else hears me.  If they do, well, they just learned a new insult. And speaking of Nintendo Wii …

–Who says I can’t forgo blogging for a week while I polish my Wii skills?  I’m now an ace on the tennis court, I officially take all challengers.  I’m pretty fair in all of the other Wii Sports games as well.  Regardless, I had a very uneventful week, and it was nice to just veg out before work for a few days.  If I had posted something, I would have had to force it, and it probably would have been bad.  Worse than the stuff I actually post.

One love,

10

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12 Comments on “Who Says?”

  1. Bigsby Says:

    Uncrustables are amazing. I made fun of you for them and then finally got some. Everyone should try them. I can’t make fun of you for talking to yourself because I have 10-15 minute convos with my dog all the time. He responds with his eyes. I sleep with him too, but at least he has a soul. I’ve told you of my love for Katy Perry and cookie dough is just gross in large amounts.

    Bigsby

  2. ThePowerOf10 Says:

    Well I don’t eat the cookie dough all at once, I suppose I should have mentioned that. I keep it in a tupperware and eat a few spoonfuls as a snack and then toss it back in the fridge.

  3. c. Says:

    Is your bedtime penguin pal named Hugsy, by any chance?

    I’m with you on the cocoa puffs – my husband thinks I’m crazy to always want cereal for dinner, but he is wrong.

  4. ThePowerOf10 Says:

    Chels, he is actually named Hugsy. Not super original, but since it’s the exact same one Joey has on Friends, it fits.

  5. E Baby Says:

    Pugsley.

  6. BeachBum Says:

    First, why does every artist who asks ‘Who says I can’t?’ or encourages messages like ‘Be yourself’ always wait until they’re rich and famous and banging mulitudes of hot chicks before saying such things?

    Whatever.

    Second, I’ve never had those Uncrustables, but you can be damn sure they have been added to my grocery list. DAMN!!!

  7. ThePowerOf10 Says:

    Beach, seriously, you need these things in your life. Be sure to get the PB&J ones, because they have a few different varieties (they’ve even expanded to a grilled cheese Uncrustable since the popularity has taken off) but the original is still the best.

  8. Bigsby Says:

    You’ve got an extra blubber gland (smells like ham)

  9. Chelsey Says:

    To be fair, mister bigsby, john mayer’s first single had similar themes of being yourself and not conforming to the norm and/or screaming at the top of his lungs through the halls of his high school. and that was before he was famous and was just a goofy looking guy with a giant head. just saying…

  10. Bigsby Says:

    I didn’t say anything about Mayer, but

    “Who says i can’t get stoned” The man is such a poet.

  11. Chelsey Says:

    apologies, mister bigsby, i meant mister beachbum – knew it started with a ‘b’ though. welp, see you later.

  12. Anonymous Says:

    I think Hannah Montana had a similar song….

    Who said who said
    I can’t be president
    I say I say
    You ain’t seen nothing yet!


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