Bullet Attack

Since I took a week or so off, we’ve got some catching up to do.  And when I’ve got a multitude of things to cover, I like to attack it bullet point style.  Let’s get right into it. 

–The last two weeks have been pretty good for my sports teams.  Ohio State has won their last two games in convincing fashion, including their most recent win; a 45-0 stomping of New Mexico State.  The Titans had a bye last week, marking the first Sunday all year they didn’t embarrass themselves, so that was nice.  Then they beat Jacksonville this past Sunday, so bonus nachos.  Kerry Collins is out and (gulp) Vince Young is in.  Hang on to your hats, folks, this could get interesting. 

–In other sports news, the bet between JK and I about the Vikings is getting interesting since they’ve propelled themselves to a 7-1 start and sit atop the NFC North.  Remember, if they make the Super Bowl, I have to buy a Brett Favre jersey and wear it seven straight days, the seventh being Super Bowl Sunday.  A picture will be taken of me each day holding the newspaper to verify, and each picture will be posted right here on this very blog for tens of people to see.  Conversely, if the Vikes fail to make the big game, then JK has to take a video of himself crying on his cell phone and send it to me.  That video will then be posted here.  I take a great deal of comfort in the fact that the road to the Super Bowl currently goes through New Orleans, and the more I watch them, the more I think Drew Brees would absolutely demolish the Vikings’ secondary.  A lot of pride and roughly $65 is on the line with this one.  Stay tuned to see how it unravels.

–What else … Oh, I found the next thing that will inevitably consume the bulk of my free time in the coming months:  Nintendo Wii.  Jess has one, and I am officially hooked.  I know I’m WAY behind the curve on this one, but I was always content with my Xbox 360.  Until now.  Wii Tennis is the greatest thing, maybe ever.  Of course, being the competitor I am, I wagered a challenge to Jess prior to playing.  I believe I can be quoted as saying that I would “take her to the woodshed” and “beat her like a rented mule.”  Little did I know, she’s an ace.  Not only did she beat me three times in a row, but she spent the third game sitting on the couch with her legs crossed drinking a Diet Mt. Dew, and STILL beat my ass.  No joke.  I finally got her number in the fourth game, and I have since pulled a little closer to even with her skill-wise (after putting in about 3 hours of practice), but man, that was emasculating, it was embarrassing, it was disgraceful. Let’s not talk about it anymore. 

–Have you heard about this H1N1 thing going around?  Apparently it’s spreading like wildfire.  I’ve never really been afraid of getting sick, but I work with 25 other people everyday, and I’d be willing to bet that at least 15 of them have been sick over the past two weeks.  I guess it’s the nature of our business, being as my work groups are handling more packages than a hooker on the corner of Main and Broadway, but that only intensifies my fear of what kind of disease could be traveling around in our warehouse.  I’ve really spent a lot of time washing my hands and using hand sanitizer lately, just as a precautionary, and so far so good.  I can’t say I’m afraid of getting H1N1 per se, because I know I’m healthy enough to shake it off, but everyone I know that’s had it has been absolutely miserable for upwards of a week.  I just hate being sick, even for a day.  I do think that the media is still blowing the whole thing way out of proportion though, but that’s another post for another day. 

–I hate the New York Yankees with everything inside of me.  Julie, you live in New York.  Any chance I could get you to walk down to Yankee Stadium and pee on it for me?  Let me know. 

–We officially made it to November without any accumulated snow, which was my personal goal.  It’s been getting progressively colder as the days go by, but we managed to escape any major snowfall thus far.  So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

–According to the little counter thingie at the right hand side of my home page, I have eclipsed 50,000 views since I started posting.  Even though I have to imagine 22,000 of those have come from Eric visiting the site 16 times a day only to see that I haven’t posted, 50 grand isn’t half bad.  Thanks are due to everyone who has been reading and commenting. 

–What else??  I feel like I’m forgetting something.  Hang on, I’ll think for a minute.  (Jeopardy music plays.)  Hmm, I guess that’s it for now.  Nothing else has really happened in the past week or so. 

One love,


… Oh yeah, I remember now.  Jess and I got engaged last Thursday.  I knew I was forgetting something.

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14 Comments on “Bullet Attack”

  1. BeachBum Says:


    DUDE! Since I know you read my blog I’ll assume you know what you’re getting yourself into. So congrats! You’ll be shocked at how much better you become as a person.

    Or is that beer consumption I’m thinking of?

  2. Bigsby Says:

    Congrats again!

  3. c Says:

    Congratulations, internet friend! When are the blessed nuptials?

  4. Kez Says:

    Because I’m such a girl I really need to hear about the proposal/agreement to spend the rest of your lives together…

  5. ThePowerOf10 Says:

    Beach, I know precisely what you’re talking about. Maybe I can be your first client in that new business you were pushing for.

    C, we’re shooting for June but there are still a lot of things to unfold between now and the end of the year that could change it.

    Kez, my proposal was kind of more personal and intimate than those seen in cheesy Sandra Bullock movies, so the details of it may bore you. I was hoping to evoke tears of joy, and I got them. In my book, that equals a mission accomplished.

  6. JK Says:

    Vikings D-Line vs. Saints O-line = Brees running for his life all game = Mike wearing the MVP’s jersey for a week = My life complete

  7. Julie L. Says:

    Congratulations! I already congratulated you once on Facebook, but I’d look like a douche if I didn’t congratulate you here as well. So, congrats!

    I also hate the Yankees, but mainly because they’ve been on the cover of the newspaper everyday for the last month and I’m sick of all of them, especially that damn A-Rod. Seriously, Kate Hudson could do much better. He might be rich, but he’s not even attractive! Buy a better face, buddy!

    Unfortunately, a trip to Yankee Stadium — even to pee on it, which I must admit would be fun — would require going to the Bronx, which falls only slightly behind Staten Island and the entire state of New Jersey as places I try to avoid at all costs. However, next time I clean the litter box, I will collect my cats’ poo and toss it in that general direction.

  8. ThePowerOf10 Says:

    Saints QB and WRs vs. Vikings defensive secondary = 400 yards passing for Brees = JK crying on the internet = the best day of my year.

    Thanks again Julie for the congrats. I felt like asking you to go to the Bronx wasn’t going to go over well, but it was worth a shot. And I love how you hate on New Jersey like a life-long New Yorker. Just so stereotypical and funny.

  9. Heidi Says:

    Congrats again Mike! I agree with Julie’s facebook post that you have to eat your words from your post a few months back. It is so awesome.
    I also agree with you Julie about A-Rod. I hate his face.

  10. Anonymous Says:

    Congrats on the engagement. you’d be surprised to know that a complete stranger reads your blog…keeps me entertained at work.

  11. kos Says:

    congrats cheese

  12. Julie L. Says:

    Is the Bleacher Creature going to be your best man?

  13. Hammen Says:

    So I’ve already congratulated you as well in real life, but as Julie said above, I would feel like a douche if I didn’t do it here too. Congrats Cheese!

  14. E Baby Says:

    Who is this Bleacher Creature?! I think I have a bone to pick with him.

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