Baby Got Back

So last week, I was struggling a little bit with some mild pain in my lower back.  Nothing major, in fact, I’m hesitant to even call it pain.  It was more like discomfort, and it was more annoying than anything.  Not sure what I did, but I think I may have just slept funny.

Anyway, I went to my chiropractor last Thursday morning hoping to rid myself of any discomfort, which I did, for about four hours.  As the day went on Thursday, my back started to hurt a little more.  Then I woke up on Friday … and couldn’t move.  It took me almost an hour to get out of bed and put clothes on.  I imagine that was how Debbie felt after she “did” Dallas, only my pain wasn’t in my crotch.  After I struggled to get dressed, I decided to go to Urgent Care because this was a pain that Tylenol wasn’t going to handle.

I walk into Urgent Care and there are easily 20 people in there waiting.  I wait at the registration window for a good ten minutes, and no one manages to make their way over to me.  I consider faking a heart attack just to get some attention.  I turn around and make eye contact with someone who is already waiting to be seen, and he says “I’ve been waiting for over an hour already.”

Okay, that sucks.  I convince myself that I don’t have this kind of time.  I decided, in a hasty manner, that I could tough it out and come back after work that night.  So, I took enough Advil to choke a donkey, and saddled up for work.  Bad idea.  No, the word “bad” doesn’t cover it.  Piss poor idea.  Work was excruciating, possibly the longest eight hours of my life.  Immediately after my shift, I went to the emergency room.

I should preface this story by saying that I haven’t been to the hospital in years, and I’ve never been to the emergency room for anything before that day.  Let’s run down some stats from my visit.

Number of people in the ER other than me: Three

Number, on a scale of 1-10, I rated my pain when asked by the receptionist: Eight

Number of minutes before I was able to be seen by a nurse: 20-30

Number of people I had to describe my pain in detail to: Four

Number of minutes between talking to the nurse and being seen by the doctor: 55-60 (I checked my phone)

Number of minutes the doctor spent looking at me: Five

Number of minutes before the nurse came back in to give me my prescriptions: 40-45

So, as you can see, I spent a lot of time just sitting around.  When I finally got checked in, the nurse gave me one of those sexy gowns with no back and instructed me to take off my shirt and pants and put on the gown.  She told me, though, that I could keep my underwear on.  I started giggling, and then proceeded to ask: “So, if I’m not ‘wearing underwear’ can I leave my pants on?”  (And yes, I did air-quotes around the term “wearing underwear”).

She laughed hysterically and assured me I could keep my pants on.  I took comfort in this because I didn’t want the entire east wing of the ER seeing my cash and prizes.  I was in enough pain already.

So after what seemed like days of waiting, the prognosis came.  I had severe straining of the muscles that surround the lower portion of my spine.  This caused them to swell and press against my spine, causing my extreme pain.  The doctor told me he was surprised I was even able to walk.  He said he’s seen people pass out from the kind of pain I was likely in.  Thanks, doc, I know I’m a tough cookie.

He wrote me a few prescriptions for some wonderful drugs and told me to take it easy for a week or so. Easy enough. I was elated that there was no damage to my spine and I wasn’t going to need anything more than pills and rest.  It’s strange, I always take my health for granted, but as I sat there half naked in a hospital gown for an hour, my thoughts naturally gravitated towards the worst case scenario.  A lot of “what-ifs” ran through my mind, and the word “surgery” resonated loudly.

I took the day off from work Saturday, and spent the entire weekend at home.  I watched golf, took a few naps, and iced my back for basically three days straight.  The most action I saw most days was moving from the couch to my bed.  The timing of this ordeal was kind of poor because this was the weekend JK came to visit.  Not only was I still hurting a little throughout the weekend, which prevented me from wanting to do anything, but I was strongly advised not to drink while I was on these meds.  Sorry, JK, I guess I’ll have to make up for it the next time we hit the lake for a weekend.

In case anyone actually cares, my pain is a lot better as of today and it’s progressing slowly but surely.  The only real downside is that the pills I am taking for pain and inflammation make me kinda drowsy, so all I want to do is sleep all day.  Yesterday, I woke up at 7:30 in the morning, but fell asleep at 9:30 and slept until almost 1:00.  If I’m active – at work or out doing things – it’s not so bad, but if I’m just sitting around, I tend to get really sleepy.

On a positive note, if I continue to feel better everyday like I have been, I might head over to the golf course and hit a few balls this weekend to see how it feels. Hopefully I don’t send myself back to square one with that.

I should send out a great big thank you to my buddy Jess whose nurse instincts kicked in this weekend when she found out I was hurting.  She took care of me in high-class fashion and I am extremely grateful for it.

So, I know I haven’t been active in the blogosphere lately, and I really do feel a little bad for it.  I’ll try to step up my game a little bit.

One love,

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