Spring Cleaning
First things first. Julie, demanding a “nice long post” to hold you over for the weekend puts a lot of undue pressure on me. I woke up today with absolutely nothing in my head, and now I’m expected to magically produce blog gold for you? Doesn’t seem fair to me. Sure, I haven’t written anything since last Friday, but I’ve been busy, Julie. The worst part is, though, that at least once a day something pops into my head and I’ll think to myself, “Ya know, that could make for a good post.” Trouble is, within an hour or two, I forget about it. I really need to start writing stuff down.
In the meantime, I’ve had some things lingering in my brain over the past week. I’ll see if I can muster a post, just for my friend Julie. Have fun in the land of no internet. Might as well go live with the Amish for the weekend.
– I went to Target yesterday to pick up a few things that I needed. I’ll preface this by saying that I somehow manage to run myself out of almost every toiletry I have at the same time. Toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash, mouthwash, handsoap, deodorant, the works. I was dangerously close to being out of all of them. So anyway, on my way back home, I saw a homeless guy standing on the corner just across from Target. Now usually, these fellas are holding signs evoking sympathy from us, hoping to guilt us into helping them out. This guy, this guy was different. His sign said, “I COULD REALLY USE A BEER.”
Mad props, mister homeless man. I giggled. On a related note, I’ve always wondered where these guys get the stuff to make their signs. I mean, it’s not hard to find cardboard, but is a Sharpie the one thing these guys cling to as they lose everything? As their life comes unraveled, and they lose their job, and any family abandons them, and they pick up a habit of offering oral sex for cocaine, is that black magic marker tucked tightly in a back pocket for future use? Are some homeless men more creative and Martha Stewart-like in their sign making? Is there a chapter of homeless guys out there with signs that look like high school cheerleading posters? Are they busting out glue sticks, glitter, and colored markers? I can tell you one thing for certain: If I ever came across a homeless guy with a bedazzled sign, I think I’d have to stop and give him a pat on the back. But no money, he’s just gonna buy smack with it.
– Now that it’s finally, finally, nice outside, I think I am going to commence with my annual spring cleaning this weekend. I keep a pretty tidy place, but a couple times a year I like to go buck wild on it. I’m talking full-on, balls to the walls, rubber gloved, I’d be proud to have Oprah in my home, head to toe cleaning. Only problem is … I’ve got a lot going on this weekend as it is. Work Saturday morning and night, with a tee time scheduled with Hammen in between likely assures that nothing will get done that day. And since Hammen is in town for the weekend and I’m only human, I’ll probably end up going out Saturday night after work, which effectively takes early Sunday morning out of the equation. My only hope is that I am able to roll out of bed Sunday before the clock gets to PM numbers and get busting on it. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll probably trick my Mom and Grandma into coming over and cleaning for me. Don’t ask me how I’ll do it, but something tells me I could pull it off. They both love cleaning, and they both love me, it has to work. Then, the only question that remains is, would I feel bad about lying in bed while my Mom and Grandma are laying down elbow grease to make my apartment look like a Mr. Clean commercial?
– In an effort to be even more of a dork than I already am, I went to the midnight opening of Terminator Salvation last night with a couple buddies from work. I won’t ruin anything as I’m sure most people haven’t seen it yet, but if you’re a fan of the series, it’s worth checking out. It is MUCH, MUCH better than T3 (which, let’s be honest, doesn’t take much). It was two hours of non-stop action, and we finally get to see John Connor vs. SkyNet, which was a reality I had hoped for in T3. Christian Bale is one of my favesies when it comes to actors as of late, and he did a really good job in my opinion. I was, however, mildly distracted throughout the movie wondering which scene it was when Bale screamed at that guy for walking around behind the camera during a take. Nevertheless, I liked it. Plus, there was an extended trailer for the new Transformers movie, and you had better believe I’ll be there for that one too. Maybe even at midnight the night it opens again.
Well, Julie, I’m sorry, but I have to get ready for work. I wish my week had been a little more eventful, for your sake. I have a feeling this weekend will evoke a few blog-worthy events, so by the time you rejoin civilization and the land of working internet, I’ll possibly have another post waiting for you.
One love,
10
May 21, 2009 at 12:15 PM
I was at Target on Tuesday night. I was amazed by the number of good looking women not only working, but shopping. Love the weather too. I got golf and lake time lined up for the weekend.
May 21, 2009 at 3:55 PM
Yeah the females at Target seem to be a higher class of human as opposed to the ones you might find at, say, Wal Mart. I’ll gladly pay a few extra bucks here and there at Target to avoid the kind of people who troll Wal Mart on a daily basis.
May 21, 2009 at 8:55 PM
I usually just go to the one I’m closest to, unless I need groceries, then it’s Target fosho.
May 22, 2009 at 7:53 AM
You should have given the dude a beer.
May 22, 2009 at 8:55 AM
Not gonna lie, if I had been in possession of a beer, it would have been gladly handed over to the man. When it comes to homeless people, I fall into the category that feels bad for them and wishes them good things. I’m definitely not one of those people who rolls down the window and yells at them to “get a fucking job.” That’s just heartless.
May 22, 2009 at 9:10 AM
About 5 years ago at the WCHA Final Five I got lost in downtown St. Paul looking for the XCel Energy Center. A man, I assume was homeless, asked me if I was lost. I told him I lost my friends between the arena and the bar. Gave him the name of the bar and he gave me directions. Since then I’m kind to the homeless, nice to the homeless. I gave him $20. He could have robbed me. It was like 11PM and I was near black out drunk. The funny thing is, the bar I was going to was across the street from the arena. The next morning I woke up 40 miles away in a strange house. Good times.
May 28, 2009 at 7:50 AM
Thanks for the post. Too bad I had already retired for Internetting for the day by the time it was up. I’m grateful for the post nonetheless.
By the way, Nicole Linkletter, winner of the one of the seasons of “America’s Next Top Model” used to work at the Target in Grand Forks. Maybe they only hire aspiring models.