$42.95 Can Buy You What?!

So at work, we constantly see packages being shipped from The Cheesecake Factory website, and the other day a co-worker and I were casually talking about it. He said he had tried it before, and it was bar none the best cheesecake he’d ever had in his entire life. Being a cheesecake lover myself, I went on the website today to check it out, ya know, see what’s poppin. Let me tell you, they have some delicious looking creations, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t immediately craving a little slice.

Well as it turns out, I will never be ordering from this website seeing as how one plain cheesecake costs $42.95 plus shipping. Yes, you read that correctly, $42.95.

What the hell are these people thinking? Did you know you can buy three pairs of jeans from Old Navy for that much? THREE PAIRS OF JEANS. You can be clothed for a year or bloated for a week, all for the same price … your choice I guess.

We had our end of the year pool league banquet last night, which was fun. The meal was catered, and delicious, but since the banquet was being held in a pool hall where smoking is permitted, my meal was pretty much ruined thanks to the beefy lady sitting behind me who didn’t seem to care that she was smoking while everyone else in the room was eating. Aside from the fact that I find smoking to be the most disgusting thing on the planet, I also find it incredibly rude when people can’t seem to differentiate between acceptable smoking times and non-acceptable smoking times.

Everyone that was sitting at her table was kind of mock coughing and waving their hands in front of their faces as if to hint to this walrus that she was being a huge whore. Alas, it was no help.

In light of all this, I began thinking, and for you smokers out there, I’m going to do you a solid. Here are is a brief list of places or times when you might want to think twice about lighting up (aside from the obvious ones).

• When someone near you is eating.
• In someone else’s car, unless you have permission.
• In someone else’s home, unless you have permission.
• Around children, especially ones that aren’t your own. It’s your own business if you want your own child to die at age 44 of second hand smoke lung cancer, but spare other peoples’ kids.
• Immediately outside a doorway. You might think you’re being polite by stepping outside, but you’re doing no one any good if you stand 6 inches away from the door. Not only does everything get blown back inside when the door opens anyway, but when people who walk by you going in or out, they have to walk through the zone of death to get there. Which leads me to the next one …
• Outside the hospital. Really? Really? You can’t wait until you leave? You can’t spare the sick and dying and their families? Seriously, if you need one that bad, go to your car. Every time I go to the hospital for any reason, there is always at least one jackass standing outside the door puffing away. Meanwhile some 90 year old man with an artificial heart is struggling just to walk through the revolving door … as if he doesn’t have enough problems in his life, now he’s gotta breathe in your poison.
• Anywhere near where food is handled. And if you work with food and you smoke, do us all a favor and wash your hands before returning to work.

These are just a few that I could think of in a matter of a couple of minutes. Maybe I’m over the line on this one, but keep in mind that I am on the polar opposite end of the spectrum as smokers. If I had my way, smoking would be illegal.

I live on the Minnesota/North Dakota border, and Minnesota has recently put in place a smoking ban in all bars state wide, which is glorious. The only downfall is, in my location, the majority of the good drinking establishments are on the North Dakota side, so I can either be smoke free and bored or have fun and spend the night with a headache coughing up a lung. Nine out of ten times, I opt for boredom.

Hope everyone has a good Tuesday. Don’t forget, your taxes are due tonight at 11:59! If you haven’t filed yet, don’t fret. Here’s an article that tells you how to get an extra six months of breathing room to get your shit together and pay up.

One love,

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